Learn to pick your battles

I can still remember being in Korea many years ago listening to the mother-in-law of Dr. Yonggi Cho who was the pastor of the world’s largest church. She said, “We do not try to change the men in our lives, we just pray and let God push them around.” Let’s spend more time praying for our spouse and less time trying to change them. Let God change them. Learn to pick your battles. Many battles are not worth fighting.

If you feel like you need to share correction with your spouse that will help him or her get back on the right course, season your speech with grace (Col. 4:6). In other words, say it in a way he or she can receive it. How we say it (with the right attitude) can be as important, if not more important, than what we actually say. Even a word of correction seasoned with grace will tell them, “I care about you, and you can make it.” The Bible tells us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

We also often need to wait on God’s timing to communicate some things to our spouse. There is a right and a wrong time to share correction with our spouse. And a wise elderly counselor once told me, “There are some things that will never change about your wife. Stop trying to change her. “ Great advice!

(This blog is an excerpt from our new book coming out in March: “Battle Cry for Your Marriage; Discovering Breakthroughs for Today’s Challenges,” co-written with Steve and Mary Prokopchak, Duane and Reyna Britton, and Wallace and Linda Mitchell.)